Spiders get an utterly bad rap, wouldn't you agree? They're very necessary, frightening though they may seem. Like all creatures great and small, they serve their purpose. Take, for instance, the spiders presently controlling the semi-conscious body of my husband, Dave.
Dave is fine man, in his own way. Soft-spoken, he enjoys grilling and magazines with softball players on the cover. He hardly ever gets complaints at work and he keeps the yard tidy as can be.
For all that Dave is, there is quite a bit more that he isn't. He is not a thoughtful husband. He is not a compassionate listener or an attentive lover. He smells of ribs and kerosene. He can be quite rude to my mother.
Now, in contrast, you have the skittering horde of spiders presently controlling my Dave like a marionette puppet. I'll admit, at first I was skeptical. When Dave went out to kill the spiders the other night and came back completely in their spidery thrall, I thought, "Well, this isn't good." What did the spiders have planned? Would they string me up and eat me? Take control of my body and make me do their wicked work?
I had negative thoughts, I'll admit. I blame the anti-spider media. And I'll say this is a good reminder to always check your sources.
Because those spiders never did eat me. No, not a bit. In fact, they made me a lovely dinner that evening. Dave's never cooked a meal that wasn't barbecue in his whole life, and here was Dave's animated, catatonic body making me a salad with walnuts and a refreshing spring soup. I just about had a heart attack.
Then Dave's dangling appendages handed me the remote and nodded at the TV, as if to say, "You pick the program tonight, honey." I fainted. I absolutely fainted straight away. I can't remember the last time I had a night like that. I would have been set for days with dinner and TV on the couch, but then Dave's limp hand came over and took up mine and he led me down the hall.
I'm still in a bit of shock!
Ever since, Dave's been a model employee and an exemplary husband. I told Dottie all about it, and wouldn't you know it? Dave and I went over for cards the other night and there was Dottie's Tim, greeting us at the door, practically gliding across the floor on strings of silver, taking our coats with a smile and a nod. It was such a great evening. Dottie said she's never been happier. She's told all the girls at the salon. We're really onto something here!
That's why I say, think twice before you judge a thing with more legs than you. Just because it creeps around doesn't mean it's a creep - believe me!
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